Why do we think it's cool, to pretend we're something we're not?

Society depicts the "cool people" with certain characteristics. Sometimes being cool  is being a rebel and breaking the rules.

As LDS members society sees us sometimes as "rule keepers" who play it safe, wear our skirts to our knees, don't swear, don't party, etc. You know the drill.

Now, I am all for being rebellious. Anyone who knows me, knows I am rebellious force. I have a mouth on me, and a bite that'll sting you back. If I wana wear shorts, I do. I hate sticking with the crowd, and doing-it-just-because-everyone-else-is-doing-it. People think I can be blunt or rude, but I'm just being the most vocal about what everyone else is thinking.

BUT. Here's my problem.
As Mormon's we think we're cool when we're going to the big parties. Because that's what other "cool people" do right?
Particularly, in the college life style.
Well going to a party with friends is definitely fun, no doubt about it.
But going to a college party, with rap music so loud you can hear it clearly from 10 blocks away, pretending to drink some type of alcoholic drink (whether calling it Mormon beer, or shots of mountain dew) because you wana post on facebook about the rebellious thing you did last night by pretending to drink vodka from a wine glass, so people think you're awesome. No. That's not ok. No, you're not cool.
Lets not pretend that these parties in little Rexburg Idaho are so spiritually feeding, and innocent because everyone there is Mormon.

If you wana be a bit rebellious, show a more dangerous side, do it, awesome for you! But don't think that even just pretending to throw down your standards for a night of fun, is cool. Because it's not.

Those huge parties you go to, because you think they're fun, tell me, do you feel the spirit there? No. I didn't think so.

I know because I've been to them. So no, I'm not some innocent by stander watching everyone do it, I've done it too. But I didn't do it because I wanted to be cool, I did it because I actually disagreed with some rules.

I'm just tired of seeing so many people wanting to be cool and pretending be someone they are not to do it.
Do whatever you want, I'm not stopping you. But I am saying to pick a side, and stay there. Don't pick a side, and take a couple steps across the line when the sun goes down. Because that's not what we represent. Don't go to some big party on a Saturday night, make out with 10 strangers, and grind on every thing you see; then show up to church the next day and think you're some spiritual giant. It doesn't work that way.

And by the way, these parties in the Burg are not quite like the college parties you'd see at UCLA, UCSB, etc. If you went to those expecting a bunch of people trying to be cool by mutually breaking their standards, you wouldn't find that. You'd get a much ruder awakening.

So in short. Going to these parties because you wana be cool? You're not. Pretending to be something one day and changing the next? Not cool.
Picking standards, and sticking to them even if others don't think it's cool? That's cool. 

Our Modern Society

So by now I'm sure everyone has heard the news of the UCSB shooting. No, I won't call it that, I'll call it the UCSB mass killing spree.

A mass killing spree is defined by the FBI as 4 or more people being murdered in the event. And not every victim was killed by a gun, they were also stabbed.

With this latest event it's revived the discussions of gun control, mental health, and poisonous ideology. Naturally.

And the nation is searching for a way to prevent the tragedies. Politicians see it as a new excuse to tighten gun laws. Others want stricter, more in-depth background checks, others call for better treatment programs for the mentally ill.

We're all so busy trying to come up with solutions, no one bothers to try and really understand why this is happening.
No I don't just mean more mass shootings and killing sprees. I mean, why are we suddenly seeing an increase in them?
Because that's what the media wants us to see.

In all reality, shootings haven't necessarily actually increased. We're just hearing about them more. According to the FBI a mass killing takes place approximately every 2 weeks. That's right every 2 weeks. Now I know we see a lot of shootings these days, but not every 2 weeks. Why don't we hear about them? Because the media chooses which ones are worth exploiting and which aren't. The ones at schools or areas that are supposed to be "safe" are worth exploiting.
The others deemed unworthy are because they are more private affairs, where the victims are close family members or friends of the perpetrator.

But while we continue to exploit these situations, lets discuss why none of the proposed solutions are going to work.
Most of the people who commit these crimes are psychopathic. Lets take the therapy route. People are insisting we give better therapy, treatment, etc. Well that won't work for a psychopathic. We honestly know very little about the psychopathic mind and why it is the way it is. But therapy, wouldn't work. These individuals not only will actually dislike therapy, but it won't have any affect on them. In fact in a study done on children in a summer camp in the 90's, they separated the children into 2 separate groups, each made of psychopaths. They gave therapy and treatment to one group, and none to the other. Then followed the children throughout their years to observe their behavior. Turns out, the psychopathic children who received treatment, actually had a 30% higher rate at executing promiscuous, and violent behavior, than those who had not received treatment.
If therapy is given from a very early age, there's a chance it may work. Supposedly you can teach a psychopath to understand what right and wrong is, though they may not ever feel why. Though these theories are still in development.

Psychopaths are not crazy. Psychopaths are not psychotic. They are usually fairly smart. And that is why the excel in manipulating others and getting to such high positions.
Not only would therapy not work, psychopaths are professional in pretending they are perfectly normal. Even the most acclaimed, experienced therapist, may have a hard time deciphering a psychopath if they aren't telling the truth about themselves.

Tighter gun control laws: Need I really explain why this wouldn't work?
Simply put, since when did bad guys obey laws?
25% of mass shooters obtained their guns illegally. Russia and most parts of Europe have extremely tight gun laws, but a much higher percentage of murders and gun violence than the US. In fact, in the US, gun ownership is actually declining.

Another fact that puts all this into perspective: Mass/school/public shooting victims, make up a whopping 1% of the total victims killed by gun violence.

Scares you huh?

What do you do, when you're no longer happy?

Ok, lets be honest. I've never LOVED Rexburg. But for the first 2 or even 3 years, I kinda liked it. But I do think most of that was due to having some awesome friends here.
And fair warning: this is going to be a beast of a post.

Anyway, fast forward to now. I HATE REXBURG. Very passionately. I know this whole post may seem cynical. And maybe I'm ok with that cause it's not like anyone else is reading this :P

And I know I am not alone. We have friends here who feel the same, I know Ryan feels the same (because we vent to each other every night).
But we just feel now like Rexburg, is the most selfish, naive, judgmental, disorganized place I've ever known.
I grew up in Reno, been to Vegas, and Utah, and lived in Southern California (LA/San Diego area). And never have I ever met a more judgmental community.

I had a discussion with a girl the other day who has similar thoughts. And it's made me realize how much I'm not quite sure I like the LDS culture.
Don't get me wrong, I love the gospel, I love the church and the things it's done for me. But it's like that saying, "The church is true. But the people aren't."
I think sometimes as a culture we get, well cultured. Being Mormon is it's own culture. And for the most part, it's pretty great. But there are some, some not all, LDS members (and I'm speaking particularly about the Rexburg area) that are just...harsh.
I don't even know if it's the students, because for the most part, I enjoy the school. I love feeling the spirit on campus just walking to class. I love when I'm stressing in a class, just down the hall I'll hear another singing an opening hymn and it helps calm me. I love (most of) the teachers.

But I do think some people raised in the church are raised in a bubble. A selfish, naive bubble. They come here and do either 1 or both, of two things. They either get here and judge everyone who has slight variations in what they feel is ok. For example, people think PG-13 movies will destroy the spirit. And it's true some can. But if I wana watch Catching Fire, I don't want to be judged because of it. And considered a "spirit ruinner."
Or they get here and realized how sheltered they've been and want to do EVERYTHING that actually is bad. And still judge someone else for doing the same thing.
I've never seen hornier kids, so obsessed with sex, than I've seen here. They think NCMO's are ok. FYI: NO THEY ARE NOT OK!
But if in the off chance anyone is reading this who doesn't know me, I don't want you to think this is how all Mormon's are. They're not. This is just the few here in Rexburg. And even then, it's not everyone here in Rexburg.

But I'm just rambling about opinion of the students now. That's besides the point.
Rexburg, I don't like it. Ok that's a lie. I like Rexburg, during the 7 week break, you know, when 99% of the student population LEAVES. And it actually becomes quite a lovely town.
The only people left are the people who actually know how to drive.
(Another thing, no one in Rexburg knows how to drive. Especially, when we have 7 ft of snow).

The city itself, is poorly kept up. There's roundabouts and stop signs where there should be traffic lights. And visa versa.
It's dangerous! There are SO many students out walking in hoards, crossing the street, cars can't get through. Tempers flare, pedestrians don't look before they walk, and people have gotten hurt.
So what does the city do? Instead of trying to improve the dangerous, most used cross streets and intersections, they are redoing a rode that yes, most certainly needs a light. But also, IS NEVER USED.

Add to all this the frustrations of school, and trying to get good grades and hating particular classes and the freshman in them, you've got a pretty good cup 'o' hate.

I know this whole post seems....negative. But all I want, all anyone wants to be happy. And it just seems like all of a sudden that's not happening.

And in all this I haven't even mentioned the stress's of my job. But I can't write about that now.
All I can say is, I don't know if I should stick it out. Or are there better opportunities elsewhere? What if there aren't?

People have said if you're really this unhappy, you should consider moving. Well, where to? Ryan still has a number of school years left, so if we moved I'd want him to go to a school with a great engineering program.
I am thankful I at least have Ryan, and he understands me.

For me? Pretty much anywhere is better than Rexburg. As long as there's artistic opportunities there, such as galleries, shows, exhibitions, etc.

But...is moving really the answer? Because the last thing I want to do is wish for something I'll regret.

Are we creating psychopaths?

I'm still unsure as to why, but I have a strange interest in psychopaths. Or preference intelligent psychopaths. There are many things that make a psychopath. And those make different types of psychopaths.
I once saw an interview of a man, and the title of the interview was "Interview with a Psychopath."
Sure he was a strange man, in a scary kind of way. But to me he wasn't an intelligent psychopath. He was more of a sexual sadist than anything.

So how do we define psychopaths? The definition of a psychopath is someone without a conscience (simplified version).
But as LDS members we believe every human being is born with the light of Christ, our conscience.

So another question is proposed.
Studies prove that there is something physically deformed or malformed in the brains of psychopaths that prevents their minds from feeling empathy (though recent studies show psychopaths can feel empathy, and not sympathy. A story for another time).
So are psychopaths born? Or are they created?
If they can be created, is the way our society behaves helping create more psychopaths today?

What is it we do that can create a psychopath? Sure people have argued that the new toxins we breathe in this modern world, contribute to a number of health factors. But personally I am not convinced that the air pollutants today are toxic enough to literally change the chemistry of our brains, at least to the point of completely altering our personalities.

In my previous post I talked about society accepting pornography. Though studies have proven that it  is enough to damage the brain in certain ways.
Not only is pornography damaging enough itself if consumed. But the fact that society accepts it degrades the family unit.

When there is a break down of 3 essential blocks in society we see a rise in crime, and individually, the potential to create crime. These 3 blocks are: Family, Religion, and education.

Need I explain how society is eroding all 3 of these units?

Why do you believe in right and wrong?

I wanted to bring something up today. I saw it in an article on the LDS Living site.
I typically don't really like that site because I feel like it's pretty biased and not always intelligently written or thought out.

But it brought up a good point. The article itself was on why we as a society will approve of the use of pornography and think it's okay (despite the dozens and dozens and dozens of studies and research that has proven how it literally destroys the chemical balances in our mind). Society will think pornography is ok, but we will create harsh laws of consequence for things as small as littering. Dropping a candy wrapper can result in a $25,000 fine in some states.

But besides all this, it reminded me of a concept studied in criminology.
As human beings, why do we think some things are wrong and others are right? What determines an act as immoral or moral?

Do we think something is bad, because it really is bad? Or do we think it's bad, because there's a law saying it is bad?

It makes me wonder how we justify the use of pornography? Do we feel it may be morally wrong, but it's okay because there's no laws against it?

I think that's why it's such a heated argument, because it draws in the concept of morals, and whenever we accuse someone of having bad morals it's an insult.

Why is that an insult?

I think it's because we are naturally spiritual beings.

Ok I'm gona bring the taboo word into my blog. Ready? God.

That's right I said it. I'm bringing up religion. And I'll try to do it as cheese-lessly as possible.

But I mean think about it. In my beliefs we weren't just created out of a bunch of materials randomly coming together. We were created with a spirit and with a purpose. Our spirits, having been with God before, are in tune to knowing what's right and wrong, in our hearts.

Just something I wanted to propose for you to think about. Exercise your brain!

If you wana read the article I read, here's the link to it.
http://www.ldsliving.com/story/75796-why-pornography-is-more-acceptable-than-littering 

We Love Plants

I think we love growing plants because they're as close to owning pets as we can get for now.
We treat them with just as much love as we would our children!
We currently have, orchids, a pink lemon tree, plenty of flowers! Including soon to be (still growing) morning glories, red California poppies, and sunflowers! We're also growing an avocado tree from a seed, chives, basil, and lavender!
And we'll probably add more as the weather gets warmer!

Our thumbs are so green our carrots and onions in our fridge were even growing! ;)

Introduction: The First Post

Lately I've been feeling a bit impressed that I should start writing my story down. Whether other people view it or not isn't a great concern. But it's just something I felt like I should do, more for myself, family, and if others find it interesting to them, well that's grand! :) Maybe that's why I started a Twitter today too....though I'm not quite sure that will pan out...

So I guess this could be an introduction of myself, a bit of my past. But nothing too personal yet, I hardly even know you! We'll see where this relationship goes...

Well I'm just an average little lady I guess, nothing too special.

I'm in my last semester of college and going to be graduating this July with a Bachelor's degree in Art! ('Bout freakn time).

I'm an artist. I think I'm still trying to settle into who I am artistically. But I have a pretty good idea. I mostly like to do oil portraits, murals, and spray paintings.

I married my wonderful husband Ryan, on August 9th 2013. In the LDS temple of the great city San Diego!
Yeah, I'm a Mormon. It works out pretty well.

I waited for Ryan while he was on a mission in Tokyo Japan! People say long distance relationships suck, try waiting for a missionary. It's like an LDR but on steroids, cause you can't ever talk to them and can only email/write letters once a week. But once that 2-year waited phone call comes through, you've never experienced anything more gratifying.

I wonder if that's what getting a college degree will be like...I've heard it's sorta awesome.

I was, I suppose, somewhat involved in an emotionally abusive relationship before I married my husband. But that's one thing I won't grant details on because I'm trying to keep this at a family leveled blog. Though warning, I tend to have a bit of a blunt mouth on me and have all sorts of creative ways of substituting "things" for actual swear words.
But I just like bringing that up because I enjoy helping people who may need it, or just someone who understands.
I mean lets face it, boys can kind of suck some times...ok a lot of times. But the ones who care tend to make it up to you :)

I live in Rexburg, "The Iceburg," of America. It's where BYU-Idaho is ('case you's was wonder'n).
It sucks. We hate it here. But it has it's moments.
We plan on book'n it the heck outa here the moment Hubs (Ryan) graduates in Mechanical Engineering. Which maaaayyyyyy be another few years.

Maybe I should've named this blog, the Rantings of a Lunatic (but alas the name was already taken).

I guess I'm also kind of a misfit Mormon. Or at least that's how I feel. I'm not like your average Mormon girl who craves baby attention or wants to hold one the moment I lay eyes on one. I'm more afraid of holding it and making it scream and having no clue what to do after words.
I sometimes think children are annoying and would rather spend time alone than babysitting.
I've never known how to sew (except patch work) or cook very well, and am not too elegantly poised.

I'd rather go wrestle and shoot guns with the boys, or make a mess in the dirt, than learn how to decorate a cake.
I'm a black belt in mixed martial arts and miss the fighting and weapons.

Though all these things I am currently becoming educated in! You see, in your latter years of college you start building up credits in your major and required general courses. But you still need a specific total of credits (in my case it's 120). But I've already taken most of my major classes and all the required generals. SO. I basically get to take whatever the heck I want till I build up to 120 credits. So I decided to enlighten myself on said subjects.
I took a baking class last semester (where I learned how to bake AND decorate cakes), I am now taking a sewing class, and a flower arranging class. As my family have said, I am becoming quite the domesticated diva. ;)
So prepare for me to be pathetically excited about sewing pillow cases and keeping flowers alive (pictures to come.)

I guess to summarize, I like adventure and excitement. But will also veg out on netflix and brownies on my days off.
I like pretty things, but I also like rough things. I'm pro gun. Still unsure of who I am politically (don't care). Dislike Obama, but love that Birth Control is free.
I am blunt, I am honest, I am naive and I am learning,

And if you don't like any of those things, there's this little x button in the top right corner.

I'm also tired of writing about myself now so bye.